Telling me you don't nap would be about as legit as if you told me you didn't masturbate. I'm not going to discuss how valuable sleep is or how much I love it, or compare it to sex (mostly because I don't get enough of either! Heyo!) ((Ironic because if I'm not getting enough sleep, wtf am I doing if not sexing?) good question, but unrelated to this post). This particular article is about a dream I had whilst sleeping sometime around noon after waking up dehydrated as fuck, nose all stuffed up, chapped lips and a mouth so dry my tongue's been transformed into a rabbit's foot. It counts as a nap because although I returned to bed shortly after waking up from these discomforts, which include a mysterious bruise on my eyebrow, because I ate and drank in between. If you do an activity between sleeping, the sleep after activity but during daytime hours will constitute a nap. I believe that dreams at least for me are way gnarlier because of all the outside noise influencing my subconscious. I've experienced naps that put me in a weird mood for the rest of the day because although I might not have remembered the dreams in their entirety, something musta happened in there to cause a degree of trauma. Trauma's a strong word, but accurate; this has only happened once or twice, once being after waking from a nap on the frat's sleeping porch when Jaeger happened to be napping in the bunk right above. He reported similar symptoms. This morning that I'm talking about didn't even leave me feeling that retarded, but here's what I recall.
I was living in some house by myself I think. A house I've never really been to, or maybe have, just didn't remember. A humble house like you might find in Ballard. Anyway, some guys, I wish I could remember the details more, but these guys had a device that made wishes come true. Not like a genie's lamp, but it looked almost like a busser's tub filled with water, and to one side something that looked like a cash register. The men tell me to wish for anything, just to say it out loud and clearly into my hand, but then to make a fart noise with my lips right after. There was one point I recall vividly: I touched the water in the tub with my hand; for some reason I thought I was in a cartoon or video game instead of a dream, because I said to myself, wow, the water looks so real. And there's my hand, all wet (I've heard that if you can see your hand in a dream, you can then control the actions you make in that dream. or wake up). So I take this device, put my hand up to my mouth, and wished for the most gorgeous woman thinkable to be mine - sex dreams are awesome, okay? Anyway! when it came to the part where I had to make a fart sound, my goddamned lips were too dry and cahpped, that the sound that followed my wish was closer to a dry queefing sound. I was like, fuck. And then it was as if my subconscious was mocking me. Because I eff'd up the last part of my wish, the result was far from perfect. The woman delivered to me not only looked like an overweight hispanic nurse, but she looked confused, like wtf kind of gringo magic is this? What the fuck the shit. Anyway, I woke up with the same horrendous hangover and empty belly. All I'd eaten between sleeps was some cherries, a peanut butter chocolate chip chewy granola bar, and some swigs of blue Gatorade Frost. All I know is that I threw up somewhere last night, procured a bump on my brow, and did not get any. I still need to shower. Butt fuck washing my dirty mind, right?
I was living in some house by myself I think. A house I've never really been to, or maybe have, just didn't remember. A humble house like you might find in Ballard. Anyway, some guys, I wish I could remember the details more, but these guys had a device that made wishes come true. Not like a genie's lamp, but it looked almost like a busser's tub filled with water, and to one side something that looked like a cash register. The men tell me to wish for anything, just to say it out loud and clearly into my hand, but then to make a fart noise with my lips right after. There was one point I recall vividly: I touched the water in the tub with my hand; for some reason I thought I was in a cartoon or video game instead of a dream, because I said to myself, wow, the water looks so real. And there's my hand, all wet (I've heard that if you can see your hand in a dream, you can then control the actions you make in that dream. or wake up). So I take this device, put my hand up to my mouth, and wished for the most gorgeous woman thinkable to be mine - sex dreams are awesome, okay? Anyway! when it came to the part where I had to make a fart sound, my goddamned lips were too dry and cahpped, that the sound that followed my wish was closer to a dry queefing sound. I was like, fuck. And then it was as if my subconscious was mocking me. Because I eff'd up the last part of my wish, the result was far from perfect. The woman delivered to me not only looked like an overweight hispanic nurse, but she looked confused, like wtf kind of gringo magic is this? What the fuck the shit. Anyway, I woke up with the same horrendous hangover and empty belly. All I'd eaten between sleeps was some cherries, a peanut butter chocolate chip chewy granola bar, and some swigs of blue Gatorade Frost. All I know is that I threw up somewhere last night, procured a bump on my brow, and did not get any. I still need to shower. Butt fuck washing my dirty mind, right?
Maybe the wish-granting machine misinterpreted gorgeous -_-*
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