GREEK MEN AND WOMEN

Listening to sorority girls can be the funniest shit ever (when it's not painful, that is). I'm speaking more specifically about when they talk about boys. It's especially funny though when comparing to how we, and i refer to my circle of exceptionally vulgar friends and myself, talk about girls. And it's important to note that "boys" and "girls" are too perfect in this context where more "mature" "men" and "women" shouldn't find themselves involved. 

Guys, however, are always either subconsciously or fully aware and actively keeping eyes and ears open for ladies. But, and this doesn't apply to all men, they, we, often go about it so roughly and clumsily. I know Playboy writes articles on this kind of shit all the time, but i think my experiences add merit. And I know movies make jokes about this all the time, but they're funny because they're true. Take the following mock* dialogue for example.

Bro1: Dude, such a nice day today. I love it when girls wear those black pants. ooo and those booty shorts that say "pink" on the butt.
Bro2: Oh totally, brah! *some kind of fist pump/gesture to express excitement*
Bro3: Oh man, there was this one girl in my class. Totally eye fucked the shit outta her!!
Bro1: Oh yeah? what'd she do?
Bro3: Fuckin **** ignored me like I had the clap!
Bro 2: Uh, dud, don'tchu have the clap?
Bros1 & 2 chuckle heartily...
Bro3: Fuck you!... it's gonorrhea!
Bros1 & 2 bust a gut and so on.

And so what some people, or rather most people, would define as barbaric, lewd, or just plain nasty behavior is the backing of the very prominent (dark or light?) side of frat culture. And I'll concede I haven't heard what I'm almost too sure exists as an equivalent within sororities' doors. Nonetheless, I'll share one account that I found amusing, and another one based on my imagination! (It's gonna be pretty sick, but you know that ;) 

BabyGirl1: Oh my god you guys, I just had such an awkward encounter *All exasperated-like, brushing hair away from her flustered face*
BabyGirl2: What happened?
*half-interested*
BabyGirl1: I just ran into . And like, he used to really like me, but then I stopped talking to him for a while... *long-winded yakkity yak*... and now Brock is totally cuter. And less metro.
BabyGirl3, who's hair BG2 is playing with and commenting how staticky it is: Ugh, don't you just hate that, when a guy gets cuter? Ugh
*Three-way pout-fest leads to my head exploding*

Now for what the other half of brain was envisioning at the moment, which actually takes place in a darker setting. Let's throw some candles in there. 

Succubus1: Sup sluts, , where did yew shack last night?
Stacy: Bitch, I slept on their couch.
Succubus2: Pft, yah right, that's not what the tri chi's were saying, you nasty betch.
Stacy: Oh my god! Fuck you guys! why you gots to judge me all the time?!
Succubus1: Uh, duh, we live in a sorority
Stacy: What did those assholes say?
Succubus2: All I heard was "Bro-sandwich," something something, and then something "squirt, squeal, high five." It was pretty gross, actually.
*Stacy's crying, Succubus1 is smirking like Draco Malfoy, and the eavesdropping house mom is chortling into both hands and stamping her feet like a little school girl*

I could go on, but it would just escalate until the people at facebook shut me down. It's strange and fascinating in way, though, and ladies don't hate me for my ignorance. I'm just a Thtupid Boy. xoxo


*and by "mock" I mean extremely accurate and realistic paraphrasing of when fratters bro down.