ON ASIAN PEOPLE

Now, for you white readers, just to clarify what you should already know. There are two breeds of Asian at UW. I'm not talking about race or anything like that; no the FOBs versus, for lack of a better term, Asian Americans. Of course most of the FOBs are citizens, but you know what I mean. Those bros and bronettes that hang out at Odegaard, the HUB, pretty much anywhere white people aren't (Foster, Law, etc.). On the other hand, one could argue they're doing a better job maintaining their Asianness while us AA's (pun intended) are sellouts to the white man. Fuck that. Because listen, while white girls don't tend to like Asian men, those Asian-ass chickens are exceptionally friendly. I don't know, but moving on, I've noticed that many of the Asian hipsters dress kind of like Ichiro out of uniform. If not metro in this sense they'll either dress almost "scene" which is supposedly a different strand of "emo" without the emotional bit? (My knowledge of pop culture, well contemporary cultures i should say, is very limited. like an old white man's. My dad, for example.). But if none of the above is true, you'll see them dressing like anyone else. If they think they're real hood, they'll sport Jordan, LRG, MAYBE Southpole, but Asian men tend to be yuppies descended from yuppies (first generation business workaholics that conquered the American Dream). 

The best is when I approach an Asian person that I've determined to be fresh [off the boat], and they not only speak to me in flawless English, but ultra-hip vernacular I'm accustomed to (I got a handbook coming out for you that are just smidge less hip). I do a little double take, maybe stutter a little before realizing, this guy is a white dude disguised as a yellow dude! And that, ladies and gentlemen, is where we have to watch out.

I'm not kidding! Listen to this conspiracy theory ladies and gentlemen. An Asian/White mutt that I know has told me, unjokingly (though I think it's bullshit) that come year 2012, the Asians, namely the Chinese, will basically go nuts and overthrow the American government. 

Yeah, stupid right? especially since I saw about half a Chinese person at the fucking China Mexico soccer game, which by the way, was awful soccer. Chinese people can't play that. Nor are they doing a good job hosting the Olympics. I don't want our fucking athletes getting azmar out there! How is a dude supposed to sprint with a gas mask on? 

Anyway, back on track. Asian people like most things white people do, except for some things exceptionally white - crocs, wearing shoes indoors, Richard Gere, etc. Outdoor wear is huge among Asians with their expensive North Faces. We don't think Japan or sushi are special, but Asians do like modifying and customizing their automobiles. The funnies thing though, is that the full Asian men I've talked to have an infatuation with white girls. I don't blame them, they're great, but I can't bring myself to discriminate (beggars can't be choosers). It's not just that they bask in white girls' glory, but it's as if they're the internet guy in Mariah Carey's "Touch My Body" video when he snaps out of his fantasy and is reduced to the timid nerd he is. No offense Asian guys. Hey, I'm no lady killer. Asian markets like Uwajimaya, but even the more underground ones like Viet Wah, have been discovered by white people, and they can't get enough. 

So I guess there aren't many things whites and Asians can disagree on, but that's because whites discovered all the awesomeness Asia had to offer and vice versa (I love Patagonia).

Check out the blog below which is not too unlike the the stuff white people like one.

http://www.asian-central.com/stuffasianpeoplelike/