GUIDE TO SORORITYBABIES

They've been called sheep, chickens, all kinds of barnyard animals, but, BUT, to many, they are like wolves. "Don't be silly Cyrus!" Moi? Non! They not only love traveling in packs, but absolutely rely on this survival tactic to slay whomever, whenever. Guys, if you think we're the predators and they're the prey, then ah shorely hafta chuckle atchu. Of course this study doesn't take into account athletic upperclassmen studs, I'm talking generally about male freshmen versus female freshmen. Now, there's always a few "lone wolves" but these are often the most dangerous, like the silverback gorilla of the sub-saharan cloud forests. These foxes will not only deny you conversation, but most likely date only athletes or married working men. Cheerleader profile might be a good example. In any case, dealing with these women could often be more dangerous than juggling vials of anthrax. 

Back to the pack theory. Take this example. A pack of beautiful young women enter a room with a scattered array of frat daddies. Whether the male population shows it or not, they've noticed a shift in air pressure, the room just got a little warmer as if someone built a camp fire by the entrance. One asshole gets the idea that he's hot shit and approaches The Pack, 
"Aye, wussup ladiez, finnin to play zome drinking gamez?"
Spokeswoman/bitch rolls her eyes, turns away ever so slightly to break eye contact, "Ah juss wanna plah [play] some bear puuhngg"
"Oooo, me too, Stacy!" chimes in a flanking fembot.
"Ugh, Becky, I wanna play with that So Cal boy with long hair and tight jeans..." and on goes the horror.
But wait, our lone ranger overcomes sudden adversity because he read a Guide! 
"Anyone else wanna play a randy game over here? Come on, it'll be fun! plus look at all those bored stud muffins sitting over there! Let's go introduce you ladies... maybe we can dance a little later"
Hold up, mister. Hold the fucking phone. No one said anything about dancing. And if you even dare to hit the dance floor you better bring the right equipment:
Either A) a girl to dance with
Or B) Dance moves so sick, so sagar, that you're actually capable of tearing the place down solo. 
A + B, however should = C) sex
Here's a rule of thumb my roommate, who i won't mention (Jaeger), believes in: If a young lady dances with you for three or more songs in a row... she wants to sleep with you. And by sleep with, I mean have sex with and THEN sleep or whatever. While I'd like to share this belief, I've seen it fail for many men, and I really don't think girls necessarily follow this code. Ah but you're just a young freshman, didn't dance a lot in high school, never really "grinded." Well you're in for a treat. But like trick or treat, because if you're not careful, if your mind wanders... you will grow a boner. Just a few things to look out for: Thin dresses without panties will destroy you. jeans are usually the safest, if she's in sweats run away. Beware that too much ass to crotch grinding can also cause irritation and or chafing.

In the case that your meat loaf decides to come alive, there is indeed an advanced maneuver to save yourself from... i don't know, awkwardly dry poking the poor girl? I feel like some of 'em absolutely enjoy it. Take it like this, your package is there, you both know that, but when she senses activity, she'll do one of two things: A) with both hands, reach back, and grab your pockets/belt/ass, and pull in so you're goin nowhere. If B) she reduces or shifts bodily contact uncomfortably, you need to act (hopefully before it gets to that).
Don't tell her it's your camera/phone/wallet, lol. Instead, initiate the roll out. There are a couple ways of achieving what should end up in face to face dancing which should give you time to deflate. (ew, that was kinda dirty, even for me). So, from the top, say she's a short one, manage to work your hands up either side of her body, maybe avoiding the armpits, but eventually up her arms to grab her hands. Now, simply spin her around, smile or do whatever in an effort to look cute/cool. Six times out of ten this should work. For a taller girl, you can do something a little more creative. I tried this on a girl too short and almost fell, so you might not nail it the first four times, but obstacles are like roadblocks, just get in another lane. (wtf, bad joke) Okay, so you've got standard ass to crotch, she's grinding your ding dong to a pulp, and you gotta act. You need to get her into just the right position where you can kinda put your right (strong) leg 'round hers, and then kinda spin into a sort of standing scissor position. Might help if your hands are on her waist. For balance. With this one you gotta be careful not to knee her in the vagina, or at least not too hard. Also keep in mind your flesh flute might now just be up against her thigh; this is as far as i can take you, young padawan, the rest is improv. (try using the force). 

In the likely case that a PYT comes around, keep her separated from the pack. Hopefully this far into a night the pack has dispersed, but there's often a few stragglers, let's say, who haven't been offered dick, or are lesbian, and they are walking red flags. Avoid these heathens to avoid a block on your cock. If you find yourself in their position, either divide and conquer, or find something to drink until all feeling is gone. Keep in mind, an awkward night can be better than a lonely one! Someone on tv said that =/ And always practice safe sex ^_^